Sasuke's Back!
by Sakuni
Summary: Sasuke decides to come back to Konoha in disguised. Then, he found out that Sakura and Lee are engaged. So, Sasuke is like WTF? discontinued
1. Sasuke escapes

**Discalimer: **I don't own Naruto…but if I did…Sasuke would have never left Konoha.

**Rating: **Teen becoz of some language.

**Summary:** Sasuke decides to come back to secretly and in disguise Konoha…then, he found out that Sakura and Lee are engaged. So, Sasuke is like WTF!

**A/n: **Characters here are really OOCy…

Pls. review…

**Chapter 1: **Sasuke escapes

So in the anime, Sasuke joined Orochimaru to have power to kill his brother…

Yada, yada, yada….

Now, Sasuke is 22yrs. Old…..he decides to leave Orochimaru (they ain't hooked up..)and go back to Konoha because he was tired of Orochimaru's blabbing. And, he wanted to have friends and do something fun because everyday he does nothing but train and play cards with Kabuto, which really sucks because Kabuto always win which makes Sasuke really mad which makes him wanna beat the $#+ outta Kabuto.

So, Sasuke plans to escape at midnight.

**12:05 am**

He sneaks out of his room, he tip toes,….he passes Orochimaru's room…he sees him watching soap opera reruns. Sasuke tries his best not to laugh but it was too hilarious.

"HAHAHAHA!" Then, he quickly covered his mouth. Luckily, Orochimaru didn't hear him; he was too caught up in his soaps.

Then, Sasuke grabbed his camera and took a picture of Orochimaru crying while watching his soaps. Sasuke thought "_Is he gay?"._

After that, he uploaded the pic into his computer and emailed it to Akatsuki.

Meanwhile, Akatsuki H.Q.

"Itachi-sama, you've got an email." Kisame said.

Then, Itachi opens his mail.

_Guy-I'm-gonna-kill-someday,_

_I'm sendin' you this pic. Hope you puke to death._

_Someone-better-than-you_

"……..really cute.." Itachi said.

"Itachi-sama?" Kisame said.

"I'm gay and I love you, Kisame."

"I love you too!"

"I turned gay when I was watching soap operas."

"We have a T.V.?"

(**A/n:** That was really disgusting..anyway, that was my sister's idea…)

**1:00 am** (Orochimaru's place)

Sasuke tries to escape again. He didn't look in Orochimaru's room but he heard Kabuto saying something.

"Orochimaru-sama, I love you…" Kabuto said.

"Sick…" Sasuke said.

Then, he took a video of Kabuto saying those disgusting words. After that, he uploaded it to his computer and emailed it in Kabuto's email address to Akatsuki.

He typed…

_Akatsuki, _

_Please watch this video. It shows who I really am._

_Kabuto_

**2:00 am**

So, Sasuke finally escaped….

He thought he'd disguise himselfbecause everyone in Konoha probably hates him.

But before that, he stopped by the Mist Country to find some clothes because what he wore made him look like a girl and it really made him look like $#+.

After shopping, he got hungry so, he ate at a really stinky restaurant.

So…Sasuke was wearing a short raven-colored wig, a black shirt, mocha pants and his old shoes which really doesn't fit him.

After 2 hours, he finally reached the town he betrayed which makes him a bastard (**A/n:** Sasuke fans pls. don't kill me…I was just kidding..)

He enters Konoha and sees that nothing has changed.

"Tsk. This town still looks horrible…better find a place to stay…" Sasuke told himself.

**A/n:**That's the end of chapter 1… I'm sorry it's too short… Sakura will be coming in the next chapter..Pls. review it helps me make my work faster….

I'm open for ideas here…so pls. give me more ideas… o 

If you think my title sucks..then pls. tell me a better one…


	2. Rejoined

**Disclamer:** I don't own Naruto..but if I did Sasuke would have never left Konoha..

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**Chapter2: **Rejoined

**-Ichiraku Ramen-**

A pink-haired female medical nin, a blonde nin, blonde female nin, and some other people were standing in front of Ichiraku Ramen. They seem to be waiting for someone.

**-Meanwhile-**

Sasuke found an apartment room for rent which smelled like ramen from outside.

"Oh, well…beggars can't be choosers…" He told himself.

Apparently, the owner wasn't there…So, Sasuke waited…and waited..and waited ….5 hours have passed…

"I'm gonna beat the crap outta this owner.." sasuke said.

Finally….

"Oi! Watcha doin' there..?" A blonde nin said.

"Watin' for you.." when sasuke turned his head he saw.." Naruto?".

"Eh? How did you know my name? Oh..you must've alredy knew I was going to be the next Hokage.."

"_Hokage?"_ Sasuke thought. "Umm..I was going to rent this room.." he said.

"Oh..I'm sorry… Kakashi was just late…here let me tell you the story.."

**-FLASHBACK ( Naruto's POV)-**

Ok…Me, Sakura, Hinata, Ino, Shikamaru and a lot more friends. We were waiting for Kakashi… he's always late…then I just had to open my mout6h.

"Oi! Everyone, I'm starved let's eat!" I said.

"Will you shut up? We're waiting for kakashi.." Sakura said.

"The guys always late, so let's leave him.."

"Stop arguing you two!" The furry brows said.

"Fine…"

"How troublesome.." Shikamaru said.

Ok, so after 2 hours..Kakashi finally came..

"YOU ARE SOOOOO LATE!" We all shouted.

"Gomen, gomen., the wind blew me, then, I landed into a river and got drowned and was chased by a pack of dogs.." Kakashi said.

"Whatever, can we eat now?" I said.

So, we ate our ramen and made Kakashi pay.

-**END OF FLASHBACK-**

"Naruto-kun!" someone said.

"I'm here Hinata-chan….hehe..she's my wife.." Naruto said.

"_Wife?" _Sasuke thought.

"Ok, What's you name?"

"Uchi…er…Uchiguchi…"Sasuke answered.

"Uchiguchi?"

"er…yes..Uchiguchi Sakuni…"

"Err..ok…so..pay me in a month…"

"Sure…"

Then, Naruto gave him the keys and took off. Sasuke entered the room, the first thing he smelled was ramen.

So, Sasuke removed his wig and sat on the couch.

-Sasuke's thoughts-

"Whew..I can't believe Naruto has a wife and is going to be the next hokage.." he thought.

"Things sure had changed..I wonder if she's still a wimp.." he continued.

'I wonder how she looks write now..I have no doubt that she's really sexy……HEY! WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?"

"**What you're saying is the crap!**" His conscience said.

" Jeez, will ya shut up?"

"**I'm telling the crappy truth..**"

"What makes it crappy?"

"**You, Anyway, you like Sakura.**"

"I do not!"

"**Oh right, you love her!"**

"Do not!"

"**Sasuke and Sakura sittin' on a tree…"**

"STOP IT!"

"**K-I-S-S-I-N-G"**

"Stop it! Damn you!"

**-Back to the real world-**

Suddenly, Sasuke heard a knock on his door. He quickly put on his wig and answered the door.

"Sakura?" he said with surprise.

"..How did you know my name?" the pink-haired medical nin asked.

"Umm..Naruto told me."

"Oh, him…Well, I wanted to welcome you. Here , I made you a pie." She gave the pie to Sasuke .

"Oh..uh..Thanks…er..I'm Uchih..Uchiguch sakuni." Sasuke almost revealed his true identity which is really risky because if his identity is revealed an angry mob would have chased him.

"Uh…yeah I know…Naruto told me…"

'Umm..so, I'll see you tomorrow!" she continued.

"er..wait! don't you want to come in?" Sasuke asked.

"I can't…I have a date with my boyfriend."

"Oh..ok…bye!"

"Bye!" Sakura said happily.

He closed the door and sat on the chair.

**-Sasuke's thoughts-**

'B..b…b…boyfriend? h…how?wh..who?wa..wa..why?"

"**Will you stop stuttering? It's probably a guy who is a worthless piece of crap because he actually had the guts to date Sakura." **His conscience said.

"He isn't crap…he's a lucky bastard."

"**So, you admit it?'**

"Admit what?"

"**Admit that you love her."**

"I don't love her!'

"**Yes you do!"**

"NO I DON"T"  
**"Yes YOU do! You love her and your jealous of her boyfriend."**

" IAM NOT JEALOUS!"

"**Sasuke is jealous! Sasuke is jealous!"**

"STOP IT!"

"**Jealous! Jealous! Jealous!"**

"STOP IT! DAMNIT!"

"**ooooooh…now he's pissed."**

"You're my conscience! You're supposed to be helping me!"

"**Oh, I'll help you, help you confess to Sakura…"**

"Shut yer trap!"

"**Hmph! Fine! But I shall return…MUWAHAHAHA"**

Sasuke didn't sleep well that night. Probably because of Sakura or his evil conscience.

XXXXXXX

**A/n:** I decided to write this quickly instead of waiting for reviews…

And I'm sorry if this chappie sucks. I'll try to make it better nxt time…

PLS. REVIEW I BEG U!

And if I don't get any reviews…I won't upload another chapter!


	3. Together again

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto

**A/n: **I got reviews! YAY! I want to thank narcoticbunny for the tips!

And thanks for the reviews!

**Chapter 3: **Together Again

So, Sasuke slept with disturbing thoughts in his mind. He just can't get over the fact that Sakura has a boyfriend. He really didn't sleep well, he slept badly.

**-Sasuke's POV-**

Morning…..the sun is bright….I'm still sleepy, but I need to get a job.

**12:15**, I got out of my apartment and went out. Outside, I saw….Sakura….

"I know who you are." She said. I wonder what she means, so I asked "What do you mean?" "You are Uchiha Sasuke….." ……"WHAT?" Did she really found out it was me? "Don't lie….' Then, she kissed me….wow….I closed my eyes for two seconds, when I opened them….I saw…NARuTO? ACK! I'm POISONED! I'm GONNA DIE! URK! AGH! It happened again!

Then, I saw….light…a lamp….hey! It was all a crappy dream! Thank goodness!

**-Normal POV-**

He woke up. He looked at the alarm clock and saw the time(DUH!).

"12:53? It's late! Damnit! I've been sleeping too much." Sasuke said.

So, he quickly took a shower and dressed up. He decided to find a job because he run out of money for the clothes he bought.

He still couldn't take his mind of Sakura and her boyfriend. He desperately wanted to be that lucky bastard. He doesn't know why though. He then thought to take his mind of Sakura for a few minutes….

While strolling around Konoha to find a job he saw Naruto, Sakura and some guys.

**-A few steps away from Sasuke-**

"Oi, Sakura let's eat. "Naruto said.

"Yeah, I'm hungry…." Some guy said.

**-Sakura's POV-**

That Naruto always thinks about food. He still hasn't change. Hey, who's that guy

coming….why, it's Uchiguch Sakuni…he has a weird name…..but his pretty cute.

"Oi! Sakuni!" Naruto-baka said. "Hi guys!" Sakuni said. ……I can't help get the feeling that I already knew this guy…….It's probably just a stupid ridiculous feeling. I wonder where Lee is….

**-Normal POV-**

Sasuke glared at Sakura. He doesn't know why he's looking at her.

"Oi..Sakuni…..you ok?" Naruto asked.

"Huh? Er…yeah.." Sasuke answered.

"OI! Everyone! Who's your friend?" A man with thick eyebrows asked.

"Oh, this is Sakuni. He just came here yesterday," Sakura said.

'_Lee hasn't change much…he can't be Sakura's boyfriend…if he is I'll scream real loud, pick my nose and eat the booger." _Sasuke thought.

"**Really? You'll do that? Well, if he is her boyfriend then, do it or else I'll haunt you in my dreams." **Sasuke's conscience said.

"_Shut up will you?"_ Sasuke thought.

"**WHY? Are you chicken." **His conscience said as he cackle like a chicken.

'_WHAT? Who are ya callin' chicken? I'll do it…"_

"So, Sakura…how are you and Lee doin' ?' Kiba asked.

"Fine…"

"Doin?" Sasulke asked Naruto.

"They're hooked up…" Naruto answered.

"WWWWHHHHHHAAAATTTTTT? Now, I have to scream and pick my nose!" he thought.

'…here goes…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sasuke shouted.

Everyone in Konoha heard him and Naruto, Sakura, Lee and Kiba saw him…eat..his…( u-know-what)

"Sa..Sakuni? Wa..Why?" Naruto asked.

"My conscience told me…." Sasuke said as he felt really embarrassed

XXXXXXXXXX

Next on Sasuke's back…

"Sakura…you are to be married to Lee.." Sakura's mother said.

"WHAT?" Sakura said.

"Why are you shocked…weren't you planning on marrying him?"

"No! I never planned to marry anybody……Lee is JUST my boyfriend!"

"Whatever you say won't change the plans we already made."

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? I'm old enough to decide who I am going to marry…"

XXXXXXXXXXX

**A/n:** ..it's not really funny isn't it? I'm sorry about that….next time I'll make it really funny! And I'm sorry it was short. I suck…you really don't need to tell me..

PLEASE REVIEW! Again…if you don't review I won't continue because I know that if you don't review it means my story SUCKS!


	4. WHAT? Are you kidding me?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, if I did….Sasuke would really be nice.

**A/n: **I tried to make this chapter quickly because summer is almost ending. And I don't have anything better to do. I tried writing chapter 12 of the mask of Kakashi-sensei, but I had a writer's block.

**Chapter 4: **WHAT? Are you kidding me!

In the last chappie, Sasuke screamed and ate his….(u-know-what).

Everyone was freaked out. And Sasuke disgust himself.

"**I can't believe you actually ate that disgusting crappy thing!" **Sasuke's conscience said while he laughed.

"_Shut up? Will ya? "_ Sasuke told his conscience.

"**Ooooohh….the boogers getting' to him. HAHAHAHAHAHA!" **

"_SHUT UP YOU BASTARD!"_

'**Hmph! I'm your conscience you moron!"**

"_SHUT UP OR ELSE I WILL KILL YOU!"_

"**-Sigh- whatever boogey eater."**

"…….Uchiguchi…..dude…are you alright.?" Kiba asked.

"er…Yes. I am alright." Sasuke answered.

"Why did you eat that booger Sakuni? Hmm…..I didn't know you were a boogey eater…" Naruto said while he tried his best not to laugh.

Sasuke noticed that Naruto was laughing so he said " You're starting to sound like my conscience you dobe!". "EH? No one had ever called me dobe except Uchiha Sasuke……hmmm…..". Naruto gave Sasuke a suspicious look.

"Sakuni….." Naruto said.

"Err..yes?" Sasuke said very nervously.

"Do you know anything about UCHIHA SASUKE? Because if you do, you better tell me or else I'll rip ya to shreds!" Sasuke almost froze to death because of naruto's reaction. "Chill…I don't know anything about Sasuke…".

"……..-sigh-……" Sakura was still disappointed that Sasuke joined Orochimaru; and Naruto noticed this.

"…..Don't worry Sakura, I'll find and bring back Sasuke when I'm Hokage." Naruto said for he sees pain in Sakura's eyes. Sasuke felt bad, because he knew that he was the cause of Sakura's pain.

Then, water came out of Sakura's eyes. "Sakura…." Naruto said. Then, Sakura took off.

A few minutes later…..

Sakura dried her tears and checked her mailbox. There was one letter, from her mother. She opened it and read the letter.

_Sakura,_

_Please come to our house tomorrow morning. We have something important to tell you._

_Your, parents_

Sakura wondered what the 'important thing' is.

"Hmph! Why are my parents too lazy to call me? Do they always have to send me a letter?" she said to herself.

**The Next day…..**

Sakura went to her 'lazy' parent's house early. She opened the door without knocking and shouted "MOM! DAD! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?"

"Geez, where are those lazy parents of mine?" she continued

"Ehm…..we're behind you Sakura." Sakura's mother said.

"Oh…."

**Living room…..**

"So mom, why did you want me?" Sakura asked.

"Sakura…you are to be married to Lee." Sakura's mother said.

'WHAT?" Sakura said.

"Why are you shocked….weren't you planning on marrying him?'

"No! I never planned to marry anybody….Lee is JUST my boyfriend!"

Whatever you say won't change the plans we already made."

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? I'm old enough to decide who I am going to marry…"

"Plans have already been made. You cannot reject this."

"HMPH! Now you're sounding like Hinata's father, HIashi."

"Eh? What did you say? I sounded like that bastard who always talk seriously?"

"Yes mother….you sounded like that bastard…."

"Why you-"

"Calm down!" Sakura's father said.

"….Fine! Saku-" she was cut off by Sakura.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? DAMNIT! I'm not the only one in Konoha who is single! Besides, if I want to marry someone, it woudn't be Rock Lee."

"Then who?" her mother asked..

"…….I…I want Sasuke…."

"No can do! He betrayed Konoha." Her father said.

"Grrrrrrrr……..FINE! But….you can never ever have grandchildren…." Sakura said as she left her parents house.

'Great! She gave away the reason why we want her to marry!" Her mother said as she folded her arms.

Sakura left her parent's house and started to walk to Lee's house. When she came there, she opened the door and shouted "LEE! WHERE THE HELL YOU ARE YOU MORON?"

"Er…Sakura, I'm here…" Lee said.

"Did you know we are going to be married?"

"Yes……"

"Why didn't you tell me? Damnit!"

"Your mother told me not to tell you."

"DAMNITDAMNITDAMNIT!"

"Why are angry Sakura-chan?"

"I….I…I don't want to marry anybody!"

"Well, we can't do anything about it….but I'm happy we are going to marry!"

"-Sigh-……WHY ME KAMI-SAMA?"

Sakura left Lee's house and went home in despair. She didn't want to marry Lee; instead she wants to marry the booger-eating guy.

**-Meanwhile-**

Sasuke, Kiba and Shikamaru were eating at Ichiraku Ramen.

'Hey guys, did you here the news?" Kiba asked.

"What news?" Sasuke asked.

"That Sasuke's come back to Konoha ."

"Sasuke is troublesome…." Shikamaru said.

"Yeah, once Naruto will here the news, he'll probably look for sasuke."

"Where did you hear that?" sasuke asked nervously.

"From Yamnaka Ino, Shikamaru's girlfriend. She said she saw Sasuke on the apartment you were staying in Sakuni."

"That troublesome woman is not my girlfriend!" Shikamaru protested.

"Really? I could have sworn I saw you two hugging the other day."

"Well, you must be blind."

"Whatever….."

"_Uh oh. Ino must've saw me when I was washing my clothes. Hmm…I better not leave the house often."_

Next chapter….

"Naruto, I'm Sasuke…." Sasuke said.

"What? I can't here you…" Naruto said.

"I'm Sasuke!"

"What! You're gay? Woah!"

"UGH!"

**A/n:** Ugh! I'm sorry for not making this funny! I just can't think of anything funny that will happen!. Thanks for all those who gave reviews! Keep rokin'

And for those who have not yet given reviews, please give reviews! Because I ain't gonna continue this if I don't get reviews! Seriously...I ain't kidding!


	5. I'm Sasuke!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto! Masashi Kishimoto does.

**A/n: **Ok, so…..I wanna ask you somethin'…..do you want Sakura to be angry when she founds out that Sakuni is sasuke or do you want her to be happy? I have plans for these two…and I can't make up my mind.

Send your answers in reviews!

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Chapter 5:** I'm Sasuke!

Sakura's House…..

Sakura lied in her bed and thought about things…..her wedding, Sasuke…..and why Sakuni ate the booger…….

**-Sakura's thoughts-**

"Why do I have to marry fuzzy-brows?" Sakura thought.

"**Because your lazy parents said so….."** Sakura's inner self said.

"I don't wanna marry him……"

"**Then, why did you accept to be his girlfriend?"**

"Uh…Because I have nothing else to do….."

"**Yeah…you may be right….So, it means you still want Sasuke?"**

"Yeah….I still want him…."

"**Well, you can't…because he left you…..hey! What about that booger-eater?"**

"His name is Sakuni…."

"**Right……what about booger-eater?"**

"His name is…"

**BOOGER-EATER! Now, answer my question!"**

"Sheesh….fine…..umm…what was your question again?"

"**ARGH! My question was do you like Mr. Booger-eater?"**

"Ummm….I….don't?"

"**Ok, Sakura…now I want you to tell your friends what happened."**

"Umm….Why?"

"**Because they're better company than I am…besides….isn't that why you have friends?"**

"Umm..no?"

"**Just do it!"**

"No!"

"**DO IT OR ELSE I'M GONNA TAKE OUT YOUR GUTS AND FEED THEM TO AKAMARU!"**

"Yee…yes m'am!"

**-Back to the real world-**

Sakura quickly stood and change to her normal clothes and went out.

**Meanwhile, some part in Konoha.**

"Oi! Guys, What's up?" naruto said as he came walking towards kiba and the others.

"Ino saw Sasuke!" Kiba answered.

"No way? Shikamaru's girlfriend saw my long lost best friend?"

"That troublesome woman is not my girlfriend!" Shikamaru protested.

"Oh really? Then can you explain this picture?" Naruto said as he showed the picture to Shikamaru.

"Hey! Where the hell did you get that?"

"What? This picture that shows you and Ino hugging?"

"uhh…YES! Give it to me DAMMIT!"

"Nu-uh! So, Kiba where did she saw Sasuke-teme?"

"Some apartment…"

**-Meanwhile, a few steps away from them…-**

'YOU"RE WHAT!" A blonde haired nin said.

"I am going to be married to Lee, Ino" Sakura said.

"COOL! So, when is it?"

"You're happy while I am being forced to marry Lee?"

"YEP! Forehead girl is going to marry fuzzy brows!"

"umm….Weren't you planning to marry Lee, Sakura?" a chocolate colored haired nin said.

"NO!"

"Then, why the heck did you agree to be his girlfriend?"

'Because, Tenten, I had nothing to do! Besides, he said if I will be his girlfriend, he will teach me more taijutsus"

"Oh……how do we know you really don't like him, that maybe you're just saying that so we don't tease you?" Ino said.

"What? I have to prove something to you?"

"Yes you have to!"

'Well, you tell me what to do."

"How about something extreme? No, something really embarrassing and silly"

"Well, what is it?"

"I know! You have to do what Sakuni did only worse……"

"You mean I have to…."

"Yes! You have to do that, only worse…….you have to….punch yourself and hop around on one foot 3 times!"

"fine I will."

**-Meanwhile…-**

"Ei, Sakuni let's go to Sakura and Ino." Naruto said.

"Alright" Sasuke said.

"Ei, Kiba wanna come?" Naruto asked.

"Sure" Kiba answered.

**-When thy reached the place where Sakura and Ino was…-**

"Ei, girls….what's up?" Naruto asked.

'Oh, nothing….we just heard that Sakura has been forced to marry my old teammate." Tenten said.

"Neji?" Kiba asked.

"NO! It's Lee…."

"hehehe…I see you don't want Neji to be with sakura." Ino said.

'No! I don't care about Neji!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, Ms. Shikamaru's girlfriend."

"I am not his girlfriend!"

"Girls stop it! Now, allow me to speak. Ehem… SAKURA, YOU'RE GONNA BE MARRIED TO FUZZY-BROWS? OMGOMGOMG!" Naruto screamed.

"Naruto, stop over-reacting!" Kiba said.

"But…..Sakura…Lee…..no compatible…coz….Lee…..big…eyebrows…really…scary………hide me….."

'Whatever, well, we got Sakura here to do something so she can prove she doesn't love Lee." Ino said.

"Well, what is it?"

Inow whispered in naruto's ear…

"oh..hehehee…"

"Do it Sakura now!"

"….alright….-gulp-" Sakura said nervously.

And sakura screamed really loud like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!' then she ate her ….(u-know-what) and hop around like a stupid retarded girl…."

"Eww…that's disgusting….wow…you two must really be compatible…." Naruto said.

"Yeah…you two are perfect for each other…." Ino said.

"WHAT? Why would we be?" Sakura said as she blushed.

"I dunno……you know when you two get married…you should share booger together.."

"EWWWWWWWWWWWW! Naruto! You Baka! –slap-"

'ow, Sorry…ei, sakuni…..ei…."

"Huh? Wha?" Sasuke said.

"You have any violent reaction to what I said?" Naruto asked.

'What did you say….I didn't hear…."

Naruto was explaining when Sasuke was just thinking…again…

"_Sakura…married…to fuzzy-brows….how?" _Sasuke asked himself.

""**She was forced you nincompoop"** Sasuke's conscience said.

"_Right……"_

"**Well, Aren't you going to do anything about it?"**

"_About what?"_

"_**YOU IDIOT! About their relationship! Aren't you going to ruin their wedding and run off with sakura?"**_

"_isn't that a little…."_

"**Right…you don't like it….well, what do you want to do Mr. I-am-smart-coz-I-eat-booger pants?"**

"_First, don't call me that. Second, I dunno…you're my conscience you're suppose to help me!"_

"**Oh. Now Mr. I-love- booger-it's –so-nutritious pants is asking for my, help."**

"_Right, I am…wait, I'am not Mr..I-lu….whatever!"_

'**fine, how about making Sakura fall in love with you, then you try to kill Lee?"**

"_You know that is so…crazy…….that it might just work…you know, you're doing your job for the first time."_

"**Yeah, i…wait…did you insult me?"**

"_BYE!"_

**-Back to the real world-**

"And that is what I said." Naruto said.

"Right, Whatever" Sasuke said.

"Umm…Naruto would you come over here?"

"Sure…"

"I need you to keep a secret for the first time…."

"Ok, what is it?"

"I'm Sasuke…."

"HUH? What? You're gay?"

"I'm SASUKE!"

"Really? I need some proof…"

Sasuke took off his wig and put it again quickly.

"Sasuke….old buddy!...wait..why did you come back? Is this a plan……made up by that Orochimaru?"

"No, that freakin' gay man had nothing to do with it."

"…Wait? Orochimaru's gay?"

"Yeah, Saw him watching soaps."

"Really…ah! Why did you come back?"  
"Coz, I got bored now, I want you not tell anybody about this."

"Sure, why?"  
"Because….just do it okay?"

"Fine…"

"Also, I need to ask you a favor"

"Sure, what is it?"

'Um…I need you to……kill Lee for me…."

"Uh…can't do that…."

"Why?"

"Tried it years ago…..then, I fell in dog poop"

"well, Just help me with my problems ok?"

Naruto and Sasuke came back to where Sakura was.

When, suddenly Sakura tripped falling in Sasuke's arms..

They just looked at each other.

"Sakura…you…" sasuke said.

"…Yes…?" she asked.

"You got a bug on your face"

"huh? Ew! GETITOFFGETITOFF!"

"Wait! "

Sasuke touched her face….Sakura felt a really soft thing touch her face…probably because Sasuke touched mud and now, Sakura's face is covered with it…

To be continued…..

Next..chapter…..i dunno…give me ideas…..

**A/n: **Ei…sorry for the long wait and sorry for not being so funny…pls. just give me ideas…I beg u!…and look out for my new stories…..

Ei, pls. give reviews. PWEASE! And to the greatest humor authors out there…pls. give me ideas……..


	6. Random Chapter

**A/n:** Sorry for not updating soon…I have been busy with school and all…hehehe….

**Disclaimer:** Never owned Naruto….so sad…TT.TT

**Chapter 6: Random Chapter**

It was a dark Sunday night, not long after Sasuke told Naruto that he was Sakuni, the booger-eating tourist. As I was saying, it was a dark, cold nightin Konohagakure. Everyone is asleep….almost everyone…

Sasuke was sitting in his bed, covered by a large, white blanket, shivering, it be? THE SASUKE who betrayed Konohagakure and joined Orochimaru is afraid? Terrified? Who knows…..

"Damn it! That naruto should have never told me that $#!++y story!!!" Sasuke said.

"**What the hell did naruto do anyway??"** His conscience said.

"WHAT DO YOU CARE? YOU NEVER HELP ME ANYWAY!!"

"**As a conscience, THAT IS JUST PLAIN INSULTING!!!!!!"**

"Like I care….."

"**Just tell me the damn story !!!"**

"What's in it for me?"

**-After a few moments of arguing….-**

"Fine, fine I'll tell ya…"

"**thank you Mr. i-love-sakura-the-booger-eating-girl…"**

"Bastard….."

**-FLASHBACK-**

"You…You're sasuke???" Naruto said as he was shocked by that term…

"Who do you think I am, Smokey Bear?" Sasuke replied to the question he thinks is stupid.

"You..You…BASTARD!!!!!" naruto said as he punched Sasuke's face.

"What the hell did you do that for??"

"What are you, stupid? That's for leaving Konoha, your teammates at especially Sakura!"

"I don't care about Sakura, she's a wimp I tell you! A WIMP!!! ( no offense Sakura fans)"

"**Yeah, a wimp that you wanna make out with…" **his conscience said.

"SHUT UP WILL YA???!?"

"**Oooh…he's blushin.."**

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**-So….back to the real world…-**

"You have no right to say that! Sakura's improved now." Naruto said.

"Like I care. " Sasuke replied in his I-don't-care ( but really cares) tone of voice

"You should! Sakura has been so sad since you left…"

"So, Naruto, mind telling me how sad she was? Miss hearing a good story…"

"Bastard!……..Idiot!…….Well, I know that's Sakura has always been sad every time she's been reminded of you…:"

"Really? Why?"

"are you really an idiot?? That's because she misses you!!"

"She should die….."

"Heartless……"

"You really don't know what she's been going through Sasuke…."

**-Meanwhile, Sakura's house-**

"Sasuke-kun, where are you now??" Sakura said.

""Aww, come on Sakura, quit you drama" Ino said.

"It's not my fault Ino…"

"sasuke is a jerk, forget about him…" Tenten stabbed Sakura in the back.

"You ha…have Lee…d..don't you?" Hinata was pointing her index fingers as she was usually doing

"How many ti-" Sakura was Interrupted by Ino.

"So, how are you and Naruto doing Hinata?"

"……………" Hinata was blushing.

"How come that Naruto always tells everyone that you two are married??" Tenten folded her arms.

"He's just way too proud having Hinata as a fiancée."

"And how come you're complaining every time he brags, Hinata" Ino was suspicious.

"Could it be…that…you're a lesbian???!!!!!" Tenten was shocked.

"W-WHAT??? I'M NOT!!!" Hinata panicked.

"oh really???"

"I'M REALLY NOT??!!!"

"you seem guilty…."

"Honestly, I'm not!!!" Hinata was blushing furiously.

"relax Hinata, we're kidding…" Tenten calmed her down.

"We were?" ino was confused.

"…thank go..goodnes.."

**A/n: End of chapter…… didn't have time to think of the next chapter so…no preview….I'm sorry…..**

**So, any of you have an idea?**

**To those who watch Gakuen Alice……I'm gonna make a fanfic ok?**

**Also wanna thank shiroh a.k.a. my sibling for helping in this fanfic!!**

**Notice the Lesbian and gay part? That was my sibling's idea… ( only putted my sister's idea there…but I can't really tell my sibling's gender…..my sibling may be a brother!!!!"**


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